Bharla Tatavar Radnari Manase

The literal translation of this is to cry while presented with a plate full of food.

It actually tries to say that even if God has graced one with all possible benefits yet one cry that one's life still has imperfections.

Yes there would be imperfections but how wise it is to ruin one's precious moments behind trying to improve upon trivial issues. Ironically most of the issues are always trivial.

This thought struck me yesterday most hard when I witnessed the following two incidents.

The place I live has a petrol pump in the vicinity where I get to see all type of people with their priced possessions, their cars. As I walked around the petrol pump, I saw a happy young man topping up his swank car. He seemed from an affluent family, He was primly dressed he looked cultured and had a quiet disposition. There was immense peace and happiness on his face.

Such happiness I have failed to see on many people faces that are equally graced. The only reason I feel is the mindset one work with. Such people tend to concentrate on the trivial imperfections in their lives getting worked up and in the process driving others to the edge of insanity at times.

As that man waited a sharp object toppled off shelf nearby causing a significant dent on the car. Yet he laughed it off saying he was happy that it happened to be his car and a human being there. When one of the other customers commented that dent looks bad and he should sue the company for damages. He plainly replied it's just a car which he uses to travel from one place to another and the dent would not obstruct it from serving its purpose. He further added that he does not believe in wasting his time behind making life difficult for others just because they accidentally harmed his car, instead he would spend it on other important aspects.

This man's expensive car had a dent but that was just a trivial imperfection in his life. It was nothing more than a mistake and for that punishing the people was not really essential since it did not cause any life threatening situation. I could understand why he looked so calm and peaceful.

Contrary to this, that very evening, I noticed another incident. A boy was shouting that he was fed up with his life. Out of curiosity I waited there to see what the issue was. It had happened that he did not wish to get an additional bag due to the extra charge on bag and his current bag did not have place for all his shopped items. As his sister tried to make him understand that it was just a small charge which would make life easy for all he hurled abuses and curses on his sister for not understanding the importance of things. He then brought up the topic of her having ruined a t-shirt which was a proof that she never valued anything even if it was free or a priced possession and finally the boy declared that his sister was dead for him for these reasons.

By knowledge I know that these two also hail from an extremely affluent family in my area.

Point here is the choice one makes. One chooses to ignore that imperfection so as to not stress him and others while the other disowned his sister and declared her dead.

One sort to gain respect by forgiving and other will never realize how lonely he will get by the end of his journey of perfection.

Many a times we all do run behind such trivial pursuits and we don't even realize that our pursuit leads everyone around us to great stress, mental harassment and hurt. We may or may not achieve that perfection but we do cry over it thus loosing the precious moments and people in our lives. Both the above individuals had all going in their lives but the latter will always cry that something is always less.

Are we Humans?

Recently I was traveling in the suburbs of Mumbai. It was approximately 3 in the afternoon and the temperature was still soaring high. We halted at a signal and like at any other signal; there were people begging for alms. A small girl approached a nearby rickshaw. Instant reaction of the passenger was to ignore so that the beggar gets dissuaded easily.

However, this little girl persisted. Surprisingly the girl was asking for something from the driver instead from the passenger. On paying closer attention to the conversation I realized that the girl was thirsty and was only requesting for some water which the driver was carrying in a bottle.

On human grounds and as per Indian customs one should NEVER say no for water when asked for. But to my surprise the driver refused to give water and as soon as the signal came on he drove away. Unfortunately even I did not have any water with me to offer.

What upsets me is that this not a single instance; we come across many such instances wherein one ignores people in need. There are many campaigns or drives wherein one pledges their support towards helping people across the country or world. But when one can make the difference through these small gestures, one back out. Why???

Are we so busy in our lives that we don’t have the time? Are we so superior hence it is below our dignity to bend down to help a fallen one? Does our responsibility end by charging one’s credit card for charity?

It is not a matter of only helping the destitute, we come across many instances wherein one turns a blind eye to the needs of their dear ones as well.

God gave us the greatest of gift by giving us the birth of a Human. Human is one who has humane qualities. Do we have any compassion and sympathy for people, leave alone animals, especially for the suffering or distressed.

These instances make me question; are we fit to be humans?

Greater Good

In my last posting I spoke about appreciating oneself i.e. we as individuals need to like ourselves, feel comfortable in the environment or surroundings.

We, individuals also function as a part of the larger group at some point of life by way of being a part of the community, a social group or a professional group.

As soon as an individual subscribes to a group, the individual needs to convert his/her mindset from the ‘I’ factor to the ‘We’ factor.

But the ‘I’ factor continues to remain dominant because we continue to remain busy appreciating ourselves.

Taking a simple example to explain the ‘I’ factor– It can be noticed that in a group if we don’t respect the other’s right to voice his/her opinion then there is bound to be chaos. At various points we all feel that their own opinion is more important than the others.


Similarly while working in a group it is important that we understand the importance of ‘Greater Good’ – giving preference to the group’s interests before our own even if our interests suffers a temporary setback. However, in today’s world we are busy promoting our own good. We want to be better than others at all costs.

Like we need to appreciate oneself for our betterment, a simple act of appreciating others can do wonders.

I remember one of my favorite quotes here ‘We can stand tall without standing on someone else.’

Appreciate Yourself

For a long time I wanted to go on a vacation all by myself or with some friends. I just wanted to have some time to myself. I was looking forward to the annual picnic to Matheran (a nearby hill station) in the second week of July.

Yesterday on a spur of the moment we decided to have a complete day roaming around in Mumbai. We visited the Gateway of India, went for a movie and a quiet dinner. The Rain Gods were also happy yesterday. We walked around the Gateway of India and the Colaba Causeway admiring the roadside shops. We were soaked to the bone and cold yet it was the most wonderful experience.

While this morning I was just standing by the window, watching the sparrows playing and chirping around.

Yesterday I was surrounded with people, hundreds of them. While this morning I was alone admiring the nature outside my window. So being in midst of the crowd or alone I was able to find that time I wanted to myself. I guess because I was at peace with myself and appreciating myself. Hence I could appreciate the things around me.

Life has its own way of teaching us of how to appreciate life and the things we have been granted. One may not need elaborate endeavours but can be enjoyed in small measures.

Ultimately if you value yourself and you will be able to value others too, people or things.

Maligning the Innocence

It is said that every soul enters this world pure. Only the acts define whether it remains pure. What I understand by pure is that we can retain the level of innocence that a new born would have. A child accepts all and everything; good or bad. It is the environment, people or teachings which help define whether the innocence will be maintained.

Some days back I was watching a Hindi (National language) movie on television. The father has come to live with his son. In India the concept of nucleus family is taking hold yet it is considered that it is perfectly fine for the parents to live with their children in their old age. However, it was shown that the son and the daughter-in-law do not particularly welcome his presence and consider him to be a financial burden. This is made known to the father through their behavior. The father is sad with such behavior and decides to leave. Here there is a greater chance that the grand-child will treat his parents the same cause he has seen them do so with his grand-father. This is a definitive contamination of the child’s beliefs. He will perceive that the parents are not a burden not a responsibility of the children in their old age.

Coincidently another incident that took place when I was at Crosswords (I often visit this shop) the following day. A small child in an attempt to pull out a book displaced the other books on the shelf. Ashamed that his action will cause inconvenience to others collected the books. However, could not comfortably reach the shelf to put them back. He asked his mother for help who was back from her shopping spree. She retorted that the store personnel are paid to clean up the mess we create so it is not required. With all due respect the store personnel are paid to take care of the customers and for orderly functioning. However, we as customers are not intended to create a mess for them to clean up.

These were two separate incidences with different children. But the child goes through many such different or repetitive incidences in his life which help him form his perspective of what is right and wrong. There is a greater possibility that the child will mold his behavior similar to his parents thinking that elders are best guide.

There is a child in every one of us. That is any person starting a new phase in life is a child. So on a broader perspective we as elders or experienced mature individuals unknowingly or knowingly malign the innocence of ‘Children’ around us. Taking an instance of the corporate world, a new team member who works hard is repeatedly made to fill in for someone who tries to avoid work will feel used. The new team member will feel to avoid being used, it’s best to be in other persons shoes.

It becomes essential to identify the child and its level of innocence within us before trying to restoring it to original level of purity.

Do you know your dream???

The other day my friend mentioned that one of his friends has set up a blog wherein the blogger has requested inputs about one’s dreams. Surprisingly there are only 11 entries; my friend said that he too has not listed his, the reason being that he cannot figure out what his dream is. Thinking on this point I too could not pinpoint one such dream which is closest to my heart. What do I really want to achieve or do in life?

Because of our busy schedules we may not take the time to understand what our dreams are. In the bargain we can tend to lead a life devoid of any objective which could give us a sense of achievement.

The question to myself was, "How many times have I waited to think about my dreams and have I done anything to realize them?"
Some weeks back while I was shopping at Crossword (popular book store in India), I stumbled across a charcoal pencils pack and I said to myself I wish I could sketch a portrait or draw a good picture. As a child I used to do fairly well on this but did not pursue the same for long. After giving a moment’s thought I passed off the idea of buying those pencils considering that I may not have the time to sketch or draw.

That day I passed off a dream, which could have given me a sense of achievement and happiness.

Being able to sketch or draw well may be just one of the various dreams. Life is very short but I made a promise to myself that I will live and take action on the various small dreams. And this is MY DREAM.

That conversation gave me the inspiration to take the time to understand and decide my dreams.

Camaraderie

Today’s generation focuses much on achieving goals, performance, growth, etc. Ensuring individual performance has become very critical to ensure sustaining in the corporate world.

Another prevalent ideology is a person effective in individual capacity can effectively contribute to a group also. However, while working as a part of a group there would be times where one has to sacrifice personal interests to achieve group’s goals.

Some years back our department was small yet we were servicing many clients. Our group of five close knit colleagues worked together to execute projects seamlessly. This was possible because we could understand each other’s requirements and would prioritize to ensure the best results.

There was times when we have sacrificed personal interests as well as compromised professional goals to ensure that the greater goal is achieved i.e. delivering quality work on time every time.

When I analyze the reason for our success I attribute it all to a bond – bond of friendship – the camaraderie we shared.

Soon department grew business grew. New people were added new groups created. I noticed that the bonds of friendship remained intact amongst us but were absent in the newer groups created. Every new individual was working towards achieving individual success. But many a times group interests were compromised. Thus started the conflict of interests i.e. group against individual. Resultant there is suspicion lost motivation lower productivity and ultimately a dissatisfied client.

All relationships personal or professional are based on rapport we build the camaraderie we share. This only can build a successful relationship. Seek friends instead of just colleagues Life would be a better place to work and live in.

I have been fortunate to experience high standards of camaraderie.